this is my final draft but some revision is needed. I will post the improvements needed from the rubric down below.
The introduction paragraph includes the necessary components but may be lacking in clarity, strength, or appeal in one of the following areas: a viable, appropriate attention-getting technique, a clear but brief overview of the existing debate, and a narrow argument thesis in which the writer takes a clear stance within the debate. Or, the writer may use first-person or second-person or may refer to the paper itself.
16 pts
The student’s voice is often the driving force of each paragraph, but some paragraphs may be missing some of the following: a clear topic sentence in the student’s voice, a brief discussion of the point at hand in the student’s voice, a smooth and clear shift from student’s voice to source material via signal phrases, a brief and clear presentation of source material, a clear indication of when the student’s voice begins again after the source material, and a rich interpretation and analysis in the student’s voice of the source material as related to the overall thesis and/or to the specific argument point at hand.