This is for a high school freshman.  Do not want it changed too much, just needs editing. Notes from the teacher: 
You have several very short paragraphs that you need to combine into one with a topic sentence to indicate the overall point and then cite the information. You also have more sources in your works cited page than you cite in the essay. They have to match. 
Lacey, you include good ideas in this essay. Unfortunately, you directly quoted most of them from the sources you used. The majority of the essay needs to be in your own words with a few direct quotes added in for emphasis and evidence. I also showed you how to format the parenthetical citations, so be sure you follow that for each one. Finally, please develop your annotations more. You need to describe each source and evaluate it in terms of all five criteria.
Dropbox link to teacher instructions and rough draft