these are the feedback from my prof but i dont understand what he wants. please fulfil his expectations and avoid anything necessary. really emphasis on “contributions”.
1. to demonstrate deeper understanding of the literature, when you write ‘challenged by the feminist scholars’ gives us examples and references, e.g. True, Enloe, Sjoberg etc etc.
2. your introduction could be more specific.  You say “brought focus on the ways that global issues including conflicts, security, development, and human rights significantly impact on women”.  By only saying ‘brought focus’ it is too general. Can you be more specific?
3. Similarly, you say “, addressing criticism levelled against feminist within traditional international relations perspective.”  But what exactly is the criticism? And what is your argument?  Has feminism made a valuable contribution or not?
When you use specific terms like “second wave of feminism” you need a reference to show the source of that term.
intersectionality is good, but perhaps introduced too soon here as it might be a response to feminism’s critics.  We need to see more of feminism’s contributions to IR theory, then criticism, before response to criticism.  Also your discussion here seems to be a little too far removed from international relations and the academic of International Relations to be entirely relevant to the question.  I am not saying it is irrelevant just make sure it answers the question.