Re write IB TOK exhibition from my draft and change 3rd object. Let me know if t

June 16, 2024

Re write IB TOK exhibition from my draft and change 3rd object. Let me know if the objects dont work or if there is a need for additional info 
PROMPT: How Are Tools Important in the Acquisition of Knowledge? 
Refer to the IB TOK EXHIBITION rubric/guide. 
Needed changes/teacher comments:  
the exhibition should focus on theories of knowledge, and not only fields of knowledge. The word “tool” has been interpreted very loosely here, and the exploration of an argument very one-sided.
OBJECT 1: 
this moves on to a very technical explanation, but not yet an understanding of epistemology; “HOW do we know what we know?” – Beginning, 3rd sentence, ‘This amp shows epistemology
This is fine, but not really a strong argument due to the nature of the object, as this kind of musical knowledge may seem limited – Second to last sentence, reference to ‘musical knowledge’  
There is quite a bit about different fields of knowledge, but not really various THEORIES of knowledge. – Last Sentence  
OBJECT 2: 
This may or may not be considered a tool due to the nature of its publication and authenticity. This could be a very controversial choice and quite risky.
I recommend selecting another academic paper as a “tool”
This needs evidence and can be highly debated – ‘that transforms our financial systems’ 
This needs to be more clear in terms of explanation and evidence -‘financial systems/cryptocurrencies and blockchains.’ 
this is a little wordy, it could be better to use evidence rather than rhetoric as this is not an argument paper, inasmuch as an exploration of the acquisition of knowledge– how does this lead to gaining, learning, a specific type of financial knowledge? – 
ecosystem within imaginations, how a simplerandom document in the Internet 
what kind of knowledge is this and how can evidence be used to substantiate this idea?  – 
of its ideas, highlightingthe critical role of tools in expanding human knowledge 
are these long lasting and stable? – 
practical innovations that reshape entire field 
OBJECT 3:
This example is used on this website: please find another. https://www.themantic-education.com/ibtok/2021/03/10/tok-exhibition-sample-3/ –
The Large Hadron Collider by CER
be more specific, and include what kind of knowledge – The LHC demonstrates the importance of scientific tools in theacquisition of knowledge.
* change to this object: Rosetta Spacecraft and Philae Lander
https://theoryofknowledge.net/free-tok-notes/tok-exhibition/tok-exhibition-rubric/ 
Make sure to download my draft to see the feedbacks in more detail
explore more tok theory and linking back to question more.

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