Reaction to Pollack’s Real Boys
Pollack has written that many boys today are struggling either silently, with low self-esteem and feelings of loneliness and isolation, or publicly, by acting out feelings of emotional and social disconnection through anger and acts of violence against themselves or their friends and families. While academic performance and self-esteem are low, the rates of suicide and depression are on the rise. Much has been written about the plight of girls in adolescence–their decreased self-esteem, increased emphasis on appearance, gender bias in the classroom, and the confusion about what it means to be feminine. Boys, Pollack discovered, suffer a similar gender identity crisis even before adolescence. Research shows that male infants are more emotionally expressive than female infants. However, as a boy ages, his emotional expressiveness decreases. Why? Because ‘The Boy Code’–society’s definition of what it means to be a boy–demands that boys suppress or cover up their emotions. As a result, boys develop a “mask of masculinity” to hide their shame, vulnerability and the other feelings they cannot express publicly. The inability to show true emotions hardens a boy until, ultimately, he loses touch with them. Today’s boys, Pollack writes, are “only allowed to lead half their emotional lives.
In a 5-6 page double-spaced paper, discuss your reactions to Pollacks’s book Real Boys:
What are his main points and arguments?
What is the role of “parents” in a boy’s life?
Do you think “action love” is a meaningful concept to use to understand boys?
What are the impacts of sexuality, friendship, individual differences, schools and sports on the development of boys.
Please be sure to use information from your reading and learning to support your conclusions and observations. Cite your sources using APA format.
Pollack, W. (1999) Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood. Owl Books.